I am having such a hard time with the idea of switching Ethan's daycare. On Sunday night, I sat down at the computer and typed up a letter to inform his current daycare center that Friday, November 30, is his last day. I cried...and cried...and cried. Ethan has been at KinderCare since he was 12 weeks old. The teachers there have become friends, and his current teacher even babysits for us from time to time. The opportunities for learning there are amazing, and he LOVES "school". He has a "best" friend in his class, and they play great together.
The problem is that Joe and I simply cannot afford to pay tuition for 2 kids there, especially since the infant care alone is $312 a WEEK! We found a great home daycare, where the provider is a former teacher. She only has 4 kids total so I know Ethan will get a lot of one-on-one attention. But will he miss having the opportunity to play with 11 other kids?? Will he miss that group atmosphere? How is he going to handle the transition? How in the world am I going to handle it? People keep telling me that kids are resilient and that he'll be fine, but my heart shatters into a million pieces when I think of the transition. I already told Joe that he has to pick Ethan up next Friday because I will just break down into tears cleaning out his cubby and saying goodbye to his teachers and the other kids. Oh crap...I'm crying now.
Someone who has been through this, please tell me it's going to be okay. I'm more worried about Ethan going to this new daycare than I am about Ryan. Ryan will only ever know Ms. Kelly and home daycare while Ethan is being thrown into an entirely different atmosphere. I know I've chosen the best possible home daycare provider, so why do I feel like I am doing something horrible to Ethan? I feel like he's going to be so sad and confused. Hell, I'm 32 and I feel sad and confused. An almost-3-year old does not understand that Mommy and Daddy can't afford for him to go to KinderCare anymore. The guilt of motherhood just seems never-ending to me.
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4 comments:
First of all,
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BEAUTIFUL NEW BABY!!! I can't believe you had the baby, and it took this long for me to find out. LOL. Anyway, he is adorable, and I love the photo of the brothers together. :)
As for the daycare situation, I feel so sad for you. I can imagine I would feel the same way. I haven't been through it, but it WILL be okay. I do think that the more positive about it you are when you talk to Ethan, the easier it will be for him. Yes, this will be a big change, but in a few months, he won't even be thinking about his old daycare anymore.
I can remind you of this. Kai was 2.5 when we adopted him, and he mourned the life change for a few months. But he did adjust--and that's switching PARENTS! :)
It will all be okay.
Love,
Sara
Laura ((BIG HUGS)), I am going to be in the same boat as you soon. I can't justify sending Haley to her school while I am off on maternity leave I feel so terrible whenever I think about pulling her for a couple of months. But things would just be too tight. Then, I don't know where I am going to put the new baby, I can't afford two at the place Haley is going to now. *sigh* It makes me want to cry and I have!!
Anyhow, it will be harder on you than Ethan. It will take some time to adjust but maybe you can still keep in contact with his friends parents and still get together for play dates. I am sorry you are having to go through this...((HUGS))
Do you ever visit the Working Mom's board on babycenter? It is a great support for these kind of issues. You should check it out. You know, in your spare time *wink*
oh Laura, I cried with you on that post. Do you remember when I had to change McKenna's daycare for a few months over the summer? It was pure torture, I cried the last day at Ms. Davis' house (both and drop off and pick up) and the switch was pure hell, for a week. McKenna cried everyday when I dropped her off, it was torture, finally I told Matt on Thursday of that first week, I quit, we will figure something out, I am NOT going to do this. The next morning, Matt took her, nothing, the following Monday, nothing, before you knew it she was waking up asking if we were going to Ms. Sheila's. She never had any other trouble. Maddox never noticed a thing! :) OK, so the first week was so hard, I wish I could tell you differently, but everyone is right, they adjust and quickly.
The guilt is never ending, but know you are doing what you know to be best for your kids. Ethan won't remember in a few weeks or months that there was even another daycare, I'm fairly sure this isn't one of the things we will do to our kids that will cause therapy later in life (well, at least don't tell him about it! LOL!)
It's hard sweetie, but you are right, in the end it is much harder on us than them. I'll be thinking about you! Good luck and keep us posted! There are some HUGE benefits to home daycare. I bet you will be thrilled!
Just thinking about you and wondering how you are doing....I didn't realize you had a blog, till I saw your blog on Kristi Ann's Blog. LOL. Anyhow, I know it is SO hard to pull them away from something they love. We just tried to Switch Ral to a different class during the week, and ended up paying for both - she missed her little friends.
Anyhow, I will check your blog more often now that I know it is here.
Chelsea
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