What can I say...life is HECTIC! Am I really ready for another baby???
We've been in the new house for a month and we are still not settled in completely. Working full time and taking care of Ethan (oh, and being 20 weeks pregnant) does not leave much time or energy for unpacking and getting things settled. We are having out-of-state company next week, so I better get my butt in gear! As soon as the house starts looking livable, I will take some pictures. Ethan is having a blast playing on his new deck and outside in the yard. I watch him and realize that moving out of our townhouse was the best thing we could have done for him and for the baby on the way.
Speaking of baby on the way, I had my big ultrasound yesterday. We didn't want to know the sex, but I think it's another boy. The profile pic they gave us looks just like Ethan did in his profile pic around the same time. Only time will tell, but I do think my Mom is going to end up with 4 grandsons and no girl to spoil. We've decided on Ryan Joseph for a boy and either Krista Michelle or Jenna Michelle for a girl..I'm leaning towards Jenna and I think Joe is leaning toward Krista.
At the ultrasound, the doctor told us that the baby has what's called an echogenic cardiac focus, which is a calcium deposit on one of the heart muscles. It causes no harm to the baby in utero and once it's born. However, it is considered a "soft marker" for Down Syndrome. The doctor feels that with the results of my first trimester screening and bloodwork (1 in >10,000) plus the fact that there were no other markers, that the baby is fine. He said he sees this particular marker every single day and 95% of those have no other markers for Down Syndrome. He said that because the ultrasound equipment is now so high-tech, they are seeing more and more instances of this. Of course, I was worried and my face must have shown it because the doctor said "I don't want you to go home and worry about this at all. Let me tell you when to worry." He doesn't recommend an amnio because the risk of miscarriage (1 in 500) far outweighs my new risk of having a baby with DS (1 in 5,000). Joe and I are pretty sure that the baby is just fine as this is a very common issue in "Normal" babies.
My other concern these days is daycare. Ethan has gone to a daycare center (a national chain) since he was 12 weeks old. We love this daycare. He has thrived there and learned so much, and the teachers have become like friends to us. One of them even babysits for Ethan every so often. The problem: it's crazy expensive!!! Full-time infant care is $311 per week, and it's $200 per week for Ethan. If you do the math (which is not my best subject by the way), that's $2000 a month for child care!!!!!!!!! With a bigger mortgage payment, that just is not going to happen! Most of the other centers in our area are about the same price; we just wouldn't save enough to justify making the switch. That leaves home daycare or me staying home. I have so many concerns about each option:
How do I go about finding a home daycare?? I am so against plopping a child in front of the tv all day, and how will I know that that's not happening? With one provider, where is the accountability? With one provider, I need a backup plan if she is sick and can't take the kids. I have no relatives that could be my backup as my Mom works full time. That means Joe or I would be taking off if she was sick. Of course, home daycare would be much more affordable for us, and I could continue to work full time and provide us with some "extra" money for fun things.
If I stay at home (and we aren't even sure we can afford this option yet), will the kids get the stimulus they need? Ethan is so used to being on a set schedule and having all his friends to play with. I feel like I would be robbing him of an environment he loves so much and thrives in. I also don't think that I am cut out to be a SAHM (no judgments please!)...that's just how I feel. Joe works long hours, and I feel like I would resent him because I would always be with the kids, with no break even a night since he often doesn't get home until Ethan is in bed. The other thing to consider is that even though I am not satisfied with my job, it does pay well, has a great commute, and offers a great deal of flexibility. I am able to leave at a moment's notice if Ethan is sick, with no questions asked. If I give this job up to stay home, what happens in 5 years when I am ready to work again? I also carry the health insurance for the entire family, I contribute to savings and a 401K plan. I would have none of that if I stayed at home.
What to do, what to do? I am due in 20 weeks, and each time I even think about what to do about daycare, I feel sick to my stomach. It keeps me up at night. Joe and I have been avoiding the discussion for weeks now because in a perfect world, we would both kids in the center where Ethan is now and I would keep working. Why isn't the world perfect??? Any suggestions anyone??? I know a lot of you out there use home daycare...tell me how you found your provider and what your experience has been so far.
In other news, we took Ethan to Sesame Place and had a blast! I think meeting and hugging Elmo will be the highlight of his 2-year old life. I will post pics as soon as I can upload them. I am thinking about getting tickets to Sesame Street Live when the tour comes our way in September. I think he'd have so much fun. We are taking him to the DC Zoo next Friday...pray for some decent (and not unGodly hot) weather please!
I think I have rambled on enough for one post....If you got this far, thanks for reading!!!
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5 comments:
Listen here missy, you know any good woman would choose to SAH! What are you thinking? HA! Just kidding. I loved your "no judgements please" comment!
I am really happy with the home daycare option. Here's how I went about it. ASK AROUND, that was my first way. Call every referrel people give you, if they don't have openings, ask for their opinions. That's how I found mine, a friend of a friend. Then visit several places. They will tell you if they have a schedule. Some do. Check with your Department of Human Services, if Oklahoma that's who certifies daycares. There are many home centers that have multiple cargivers so there is always someone available. My lady has 2 backups, it also allows her to run errands during the day and such.
I would advise you start looking now. It's hard to find a place with two openings. Trust me, I've been there. I started looking as soon as I found out I was pg with Maddox and it still took me almost 6 months to find the right one.
You'll be OK. Just take a deep breath and make you a list of people to start calling. You will have great intuition about this, so trust your gut and start looking. I agree, $2000 a month is very hard to justify.
Good luck! Call me if you need some more ideas or a shoulder to freak out on! I've been there sweetie!
HUGS,
Michelle
Man...I think Michelle tooke the words right out of my mouth....look NOW. :)
I know how hard it can be....just make sure you visit and pop in at random times to see....that can tell you a lot!
Good luck!
Laura,
Goodness, I am CLUELESS! I had no idea you had a blog! I just saw it linked on another BC friend's blog and here I am!
As for the daycare, I feel confident that you can find a good in home provider who won't just plop your kids in front of the TV. Have you considered an Au Pair? I know it might be weird to have someone living in your house but after the initial fee of a few thousand dollars you get 45 hours per week of childcare for something like $180. I think that is a pretty good deal. And most of my friends that have au pairs have their children in all sorts of scheduled activities so they have social opportunities and interaction with other kids.
You would never get any judgment from me about not wanting to be a SAHM. It is really *a lot* harder than I thought it was going to be. It can be lonely and isolating and it is very frustrating when Bob is gone out of town for days or "works" late going out to a nice dinner or on the weekends golfing with clients. You job sounds really great so I hope you can figure out how to swing still working!
Laura I really can't say too much. We got lucky with Denver. He is with his GodParents during the day. His godmother does daycare out of her home and the T.V does not go on except first thing in the morning when the kids are getting there. Other than that its on the Kids music channel and there is no pics. I pay 600 a month right now and that will jump another 500 a month when the next one starts going there. We too are at a cross roads cause my whole income will pretty much be all daycare and I can't justify working to pay for daycare and have nothing left over.
Good Luck in your journey and hopefully we both figure out what we are going to do before our little ones come along.
BTW - yay we aren't finding out either about the sex of the little one. Not enough surprises left in life. I will pray for you and a safe healthy child. let me know how it goes.
Hugs
Jude
I think Michelle did a great job in her post. I really don't have much to add! lol Call your local childcare referral agency and give them your exact needs and they can pull a summary of providers.
I think for us, me staying home was the right choice. I couldn't see working for $3 a hour by the time insurance and taxes was taken out. We have discussed if I was to go back though we would get a full time Nanny but most likely I'll stay home with the kids till they all hit Kindergarten.
Good luck!!
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