Warning...Lots of Whining!

I was not at all surprised to find that the date of my last blog update was February 28th. Life has been so incredibly hectic; I have to admit that I knew that two children would be a lot of work, but I didn't realize that it would be quite so frazzling (is that even a word??)!

Joe has been working long hours and carrying a beeper much more often. That leads to some crazy days and nights for us. For a few weeks, he wasn't getting home until 10, 11, 12 at night which leaves me to pick up both kids from daycare after work, do dinner, bottles, baths, and bedtime by myself. By the time I do that, it's 8:30, and I still have laundry to do and the kids' bag to pack for daycare the next day. I am amazed at single mothers and how they can do this day after day with no help and no break. As you can imagine, Joe's work schedule and our lack of family time has led to quite a few, shall we say, "heated" discussions. I know he has to work because he is the primary breadwinner, but I am so tired of being alone and feeling like our family is coming in a very distant second place. We had a long talk over the weekend, and we're going to try to be more understanding of the other's situation, and try to work together instead of always trying to win the battle of "who has it harder?" I know things eventually have to get better, but I had a huge meltdown Friday night. Maybe we had to hit close to rock bottom in order for us to make things better...

Work has been crazy. I work for a government contractor at a training facility for first responders and emergency management officials. I am helping to plan a large (300+ attendees) conference being held here the first week of June. I've never done it before, and it's been quite a challenging experience along with all the stress at home.

The other thing that is weighing heavily on my mind is that I *think* my daycare provider might be pregnant. I have always known that she wanted to have another child (she has 1 son who is 2), but now I am freaking out about childcare for Ethan and Ryan. Even if she wants to continue to watch my boys, what will I do while she is out on maternity leave?? I have NO backup person at all. I would be forced to take FMLA to stay home with the boys until she was back on her feet. She hasn't come out and told us officially yet, but I am 90% sure that the big announcement is coming soon. Do I hope and pray that her pregnancy goes smoothly and she can watch the boys right up until she delivers? Do I try to find them somewhere else even though I love Miss Kelly and so do the boys? It was next to impossible to find Miss Kelly in the first place, and she is everything you want in a home daycare provider. She is sweet, smart, a former first grade teacher, lives a mile from my house, has a great schedule for the kids, and only takes 3 kids in addition to her own. My stomach is in knots about this, even though I can't do anything about it. I will just have to deal with things as they come, which is one thing that I am horrible at. I am an extreme worrier, to the point that this will probably keep me awake at night.

Any suggestions? What would you do in my situation?

Ethan is fully potty trained! We just started putting him in underwear at night though, and he's been dry for the past 3 nights! Go Ethan! We started trying to teach him to pee standing up, which is when we noticed that his pee goes upwards and sideways instead of down. His pediatrician said that his urethral opening is too narrow, and he referred us to a pediatric urologist. We have an appointment tomorrow morning. I'm sure that they will be able to diagnose the problem and recommend a solution to us (usually it requires a small surgical procedure).

He is the funniest child I've ever met (don't all parents think that about their children??) Here's some examples of some of our recent conversations:

Ethan kicks Miss Kelly's cat door

Joe: Ethan, you know you aren't supposed to do that...why did you do that?

Ethan: I don't know.

Joe: Don't do that again...you need to listen to Miss Kelly's rules.

Ethan: Just ignore me.

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Me: Ethan, stop jumping off the couch!

Ethan: I'm a kid, I'm supposed to do bad things.

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Me: Ethan, don't touch that cookie yet; you need to have lunch first.

Ethan reaches for cookie.

Me: ETHAN, do NOT touch that cookie...you need to eat lunch first.

Ethan grabs cookie, takes a bite and says "too late."

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Ryan is now 6 months and 3 weeks. He is such a laid-back, smiley, mellow baby. He seems to be hitting his milestones slower than Ethan, which I'm told is common for a second child. He rolls very well from back to front, but hasn't figured out how to roll from front to back. He is starting to sit up on his own pretty nicely as well. He smiles big all the time but he is very stingy with giggles and laughs; we have to really work to get those out of him. He is eating baby food 3x a day now and is down to only 3 bottles a day and a small bedtime bottle. At his 6-month checkup, he weighed 21 pounds, 3 ounces (OFF THE CHARTS!) and was 28 inches long (95th percentile). He is so much bigger than Ethan was; Ethan didn't weigh 21 pounds until a year old! Ryan is wearing all 9-month clothes and some 12-months. He's got the chubbiest cheeks and I've been told on many occasions that he looks just like a Gerber baby!

I need to get back to blogging on a regular basis...I think it would help my stress and anxiety to journal it. There is so much more to say, but I'll save it for another time. LUNCH is calling!!