A Fresh Start

After reading the blogs of many of my online friends, I decided this would be a good way for me to journal my weight loss journey as well as to keep up with all the developments of my new son, Ethan.

Today is a fresh start for me. I gained 50 pounds when pregnant and I had already gained 20 before I conceived. I developed Gestational Diabetes and was also put on bed rest for the last month due to high blood pressure, so my activity level was non-existent. A week after I came home from the hospital, I had lost only 20 pounds. You do the math...that leaves A LOT of weight to lose. Two weeks ago, I was physically ready to start exercising and get serious about losing the weight. I joined the local YMCA and worked out 5 times the first week on top of eating healthy. I promised myself that I would only weigh once a week because it's just way too depressing to face the scale's "smirk" every day. I jumped on the scale last Sunday and held my breath...I looked at the number and then looked again. I got off, got back on, and looked yet again. The number was exactly the same as it had been the previous week despite all of my efforts. I was crushed and began to cry. How could this be? What was I doing wrong?

Despite this setback, I was determined to carry on with diet and exercise. I took a step aerobics class on Monday night and absolutely loved it! I got the best workout and the women in the class were so friendly. It was MY time and I enjoyed every minute. I went to class again on Wednesday night and I just KNEW that the weight was going to start melting off. WRONG! On Thursday morning, the scale again showed not a single pound of fat gone. At this point, I was not only sad, I was mad! Where do I go from here? If diet and exercise don't work, what do I do? I refuse to give up. I have never been this heavy before, and I look in the mirror and wonder where this "fat" girl came from. I have thought about seeing a nutritionist or having my doctor run some tests to make sure that the pregnancy did not tamper with my thyroid.

I got so upset yesterday that I ate pizza AND a sundae from TCBY. I figured if I wasn't going to lose any weight by dieting, then why the heck do it?? I even got up this morning and ate 2 slices of cold pizza. Of course, now I have 55 pounds to lose, but who's counting anyway? I think I have gotten it out of my system though and I'm ready to move on somehow, some way.

On another note, Ethan had his 2-month checkup yesterday, and Joe took off the whole day so he could go with us. Ethan now weighs 10 pounds, 11 ounces and he is 22 3/4 inches long. He had to get 4 shots yesterday, and although I thought I would be heartbroken watching him, I did fine. He was a good boy and only cried for about 10 minutes. He does have thrush in his mouth which is caused by a PH imbalance much like a woman's yeast infection. We have to give him drops 3X a day for 10 days. He goes back at 4 months for his next checkup.

The rest of the day he was a good boy. He smiles all the time now and spends hours "talking" to his toys. It's a joy and a blessing to watch this little baby develop more and more of his personality every day, and I know that I am incredibly lucky.