Rainy Days

What a nasty day it is today. It's been raining since early this morning, and it's just so damp out. I did manage to make it to step aerobics at 7:45 a.m. though. I then came home to change my clothes, and then it was off to my dietician appointment. It went much differently than I had expected it to. We talked about my dieting history since giving birth, and I told her I had recently been trying very hard to lose weight and I have been exercising 3-4 times a week but not seeing any results. She told me I had several choices based on the types of programs they offer: 1) I could do an all-food plan which would consist of 1200 calories with about 1 pound per week weight loss. 2) 2 meal replacement beverages and 1 meal per day (also a 1200-calorie plan) or 3) 6 weeks of meal replacements followed by a 1200-1800 calorie diet depending on my resting metabolic rate (which they determine at the end of 6 weeks). She recommended that I try doing the meal replacement beverages for the first 6 weeks for several reasons: 1) it takes off weight rapidly. Most people with 50 pounds to lose end up losing about 25 pounds in 6 weeks 2) She could tell that I am completely depressed and frustrated and the rapid initial weight loss would give me a lot of motivation and hope. I talked it over with Joe and I decided to go ahead and try the 6-week Quick Start (which is what they call it). It's a bit expensive, but Joe and I both feel it will be worth it if I can lose the weight and be a happier person.

I know there will be lots of people who will criticize a plan that doesn't allow food for the first 6 weeks, and that's okay. They are entitled to their opinion. This plan is run by the local hospital, and before I can begin the program, I have to have blood work done to test my thyroid, my glucose levels and bunch of other things. I also have to have a physical and an EKG. They repeat the lab work at 2 weeks and at 4 weeks to make sure that all my levels look good. I am a bit nervous about making this kind of commitment, but if I don't do something, I am not going to lose any weight. I NEED to see some results soon, or this depression is just going to continue. I am going Tuesday night for my initial screening. Then I will go on Thursday night for my lab work and EKG. If all looks well, I can start the program on Friday. I'm excited and nervous and scared all at the same time. I am an extremely strong-willed person, so I know I can do it, but it's a huge commitment. I hope you all can support me, and I will definitely post on my progress. Before I start, I will post my current weight (as of next Friday) and then I will post each week on my weight loss.

Whew...all that said, the last few days have been difficult. Ethan has been crying a lot, especially after he eats. Joe and I are hoping it's just a phase since we haven't changed his formula or done anything different. Last night, we just put him in his swing and let him cry himself to sleep. It was tough to do, but he was crying while we held him so he might as well cry in his swing. My grandparents were here for a few days and it was the first time they had met Ethan. Ethan is such a lucky little boy. He has 4 living grandparents and 3 living great-grandparents. I got pictures of my grandma and grandpa with him for his baby book.

Only 2 more weeks until I go back to work. I have been doing a lot of thinking, and I am going to call the daycare on Monday and see if I can bring Ethan in the week before I go back to work...about 5 hours a day or so. It will help both me and him become adjusted to daycare rather than us just jumping in cold turkey. One of my parenting magazines suggested Moms do that if they are going back to work since it makes the transition easier. Since his spot is being held with a deposit, I don't think they'd mind if I paid for an extra week and started him a little early, even just 5 hours a day. I thought I could spend an hour there a few days and just observe and see how they are taking care of him.

One last thing before I end this long rant...Joe's damn beeper went off a few minutes ago!! I HATE that thing. He has to carry it for 2 weeks at a time, and this is his second week. He will have to respond to the call and that will probably mean he's gone for over 5 hours.

That's it for now...I sure hope the sun comes out tomorrow.