Moving Right Along

Last night was weigh-in, and I was down another 1.8 pounds. That brings my total loss to 15.2 pounds in 9 weeks. I am feeling so much better both mentally and physically, and I know that losing the weight will make my next pregnancy easier on my body. I feel so much more confident and full of energy that I just didn't have before. Shopping is enjoyable again, and now there are more things in my closet that are too big rather than too tight.

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Joe and I are still attending weekly counseling sessions, and they seem to be helping tremendously with the way we are communicating with one another. We are going to continue with counseling until the end of the year, and then re-evaluate with our counselor where we are and if we need to continue further.

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Ethan is doing GREAT! He has had some cranky days recently because all 4 molars are breaking through at once. He is becoming a little comedian. On Saturday, my parents, Joe, Ethan, and I were all eating lunch at a restaurant. I told Ethan "You haven't even touched your sandwich". He looked up at me and then reached out and touched the top of his sandwich with the tip of his index finger! Little smartass! We all just started laughing so hard.

He is learning more and more words all the time. He still hasn't combined words into any kind of sentence, but he now repeats so much of what he hears. I took him to a craft show over the weekend and as we were walking around, he was saying "Beep Beep" to anyone who got in his way. I find it hard to believe that in just a few months, he will be 2. He is my ray of sunshine on even the darkest days, and I just love him to death.

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I am so anxious to TTC again. Lately, I seem to be thinking about it all the time. As much as I want another child, I am so afraid that I won't have enough love or attention for 2 children. Could I love another child as much as I love Ethan? I know these worries are normal, but they are still niggling in the back of my mind.

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Feeling Blue

I am feeling so down this week, mostly due to PMS. My Mom forwarded me an e-mail from her friend, G. I was best friends with G's daughter in high school and part of college. We lost touch, but my parents have remained friendly with her parents. Anyway, she had a little boy in August of 2004, and the e-mail said that she was pregnant again. I should be happy, right? WRONG! Instead, I am so jealous! A year ago, I would have been completely thrilled that it wasn't ME that was pregnant, and now I am WISHING it was me.

I know that it (hopefully) won't be long before I am pregnant again. I am done with the pills and waiting for AF. I know I won't be able to talk Joe into TTC seriously before February, but maybe we'll get lucky and it will just "happen". I doubt it, but you never know. My sex drive is usually much higher when I'm not on the pill, so our sex life should change a bit from how it's been lately.

This month's PMS has been so tough. I've had bad headaches and terrible mood swings. YUCK! It will be interesting to see how long it takes for my cycles to regulate. I was pretty regular coming off the pill when we were TTC Ethan, so I am hoping for the best.

I'll be back when I have some more positive things to share!

Super Quick Update

• Lost .8 this week. A bit disappointed, but a loss is still a loss. Total loss is now 13.4 pounds.
• Ethan is better. I don't think he had Hand, Foot, and Mouth since he never got any blisters.
• Joe was in a car accident on Friday morning in our Saturn...$2,000 worth of damage. The car is going in to be fixed on the 23rd. Joe, thank God, was not hurt.
• No more BCP for me! I am due to get AF sometime this week, and then I will begin monitoring my cycles in the hopes of getting pregnant soon. I hope it just "happens" between now and February (when we decided to really TTC).
• I am participating in a memorial walk this Saturday for Lacie, my co-worker's daughter who passed away from Tay-Sachs disease at just 18 months. It will be 1 year on October 23rd since she became an angel. You can read her story at www.geocities.com/ourprincesslacie.
• Gotta run!

Good News and Bad News, Part II

First the bad news...Daycare called and Ethan was running a fever of 102.3. Three children in his classroom have been confirmed to have Hand, Foot, and Mouth. He can't go back to daycare until he is fever-free for 24 hours so that would be tomorrow at noon at the very earliest. I work on a government contract, which just changed hands on October 1, meaning I have no paid time off for the first 3 months (until I accrue it). I will either have to find a way to make up my time or take leave without pay. Ethan is sleeping right now after a dose of Motrin.

The good news...I passed the kidney stone (at least part of it!!). I haven't been straining my urine because I'm all out of strainers. Who knew I'd be straining urine for 6 freakin' weeks??? When I got home with Ethan, I went to the bathroom. Awhile later, I went again, and there was a little hard stone caught down there. Not sure if it's all of it or a part of it. I already am feeling less pain and pressure down there, so I'm hoping that was all of it!!!!!!!!

Good News and Bad News

Okay, the bad news first...I am so horribly miserable from this kidney stone!!! I feel like I have to pee ALL the time, and I am getting twinges of pain off and on most of the day. My urologist appointment is tomorrow morning, and I am PRAYING that she doesn't tell me that we should still "wait it out". The damn thing has been causing me problems for 6 weeks now...I highly doubt it's going to come out all of a sudden.

On to the good news...at last night's weigh-in, I was down 3 pounds! That means I am down another 2.5 pounds after figuring in last week's 1/2-pound gain. My total loss for the last 7 weeks is 12.6 pounds!! YAY ME!!!!!!!!

More good news: On Sunday night, Joe said that he agrees that getting rid of my BCP is a good idea. I have 5 more pills in this pack and then I will stop. We agreed that for the next several months, we will not be actively TTC but we will not be preventing. If I get pregnant, I get pregnant. If not, we will TTC more aggressively once Ethan turns 2. I am happy that he brought the subject up without any prodding from me. I am happy that he truly gave it some thought and made the decision without pressure on my part. And, of course, I am happy that we will be TTC soon! I hope I can continue to lose some weight during our "not trying, but not preventing" months!

Bummed Out

So at my weigh-in last night, I discovered I had gained 1/2 pound. If I knew why, I probably wouldn't be upset but I just can't figure it out. I know it's only 1/2 pound, but it feels like a setback. I know I need to just move on and continue following the plan, but man, do I feel depressed about it!!!

My kidney stone is STILL there...I'm beginning to think it's settling in for the winter! LOL I'm having pain off and on, some days worse than others.

That's all the update I have time for right now!!