An Update That's Way Overdue

What can I say...life is HECTIC! Am I really ready for another baby???

We've been in the new house for a month and we are still not settled in completely. Working full time and taking care of Ethan (oh, and being 20 weeks pregnant) does not leave much time or energy for unpacking and getting things settled. We are having out-of-state company next week, so I better get my butt in gear! As soon as the house starts looking livable, I will take some pictures. Ethan is having a blast playing on his new deck and outside in the yard. I watch him and realize that moving out of our townhouse was the best thing we could have done for him and for the baby on the way.

Speaking of baby on the way, I had my big ultrasound yesterday. We didn't want to know the sex, but I think it's another boy. The profile pic they gave us looks just like Ethan did in his profile pic around the same time. Only time will tell, but I do think my Mom is going to end up with 4 grandsons and no girl to spoil. We've decided on Ryan Joseph for a boy and either Krista Michelle or Jenna Michelle for a girl..I'm leaning towards Jenna and I think Joe is leaning toward Krista.

At the ultrasound, the doctor told us that the baby has what's called an echogenic cardiac focus, which is a calcium deposit on one of the heart muscles. It causes no harm to the baby in utero and once it's born. However, it is considered a "soft marker" for Down Syndrome. The doctor feels that with the results of my first trimester screening and bloodwork (1 in >10,000) plus the fact that there were no other markers, that the baby is fine. He said he sees this particular marker every single day and 95% of those have no other markers for Down Syndrome. He said that because the ultrasound equipment is now so high-tech, they are seeing more and more instances of this. Of course, I was worried and my face must have shown it because the doctor said "I don't want you to go home and worry about this at all. Let me tell you when to worry." He doesn't recommend an amnio because the risk of miscarriage (1 in 500) far outweighs my new risk of having a baby with DS (1 in 5,000). Joe and I are pretty sure that the baby is just fine as this is a very common issue in "Normal" babies.

My other concern these days is daycare. Ethan has gone to a daycare center (a national chain) since he was 12 weeks old. We love this daycare. He has thrived there and learned so much, and the teachers have become like friends to us. One of them even babysits for Ethan every so often. The problem: it's crazy expensive!!! Full-time infant care is $311 per week, and it's $200 per week for Ethan. If you do the math (which is not my best subject by the way), that's $2000 a month for child care!!!!!!!!! With a bigger mortgage payment, that just is not going to happen! Most of the other centers in our area are about the same price; we just wouldn't save enough to justify making the switch. That leaves home daycare or me staying home. I have so many concerns about each option:

How do I go about finding a home daycare?? I am so against plopping a child in front of the tv all day, and how will I know that that's not happening? With one provider, where is the accountability? With one provider, I need a backup plan if she is sick and can't take the kids. I have no relatives that could be my backup as my Mom works full time. That means Joe or I would be taking off if she was sick. Of course, home daycare would be much more affordable for us, and I could continue to work full time and provide us with some "extra" money for fun things.

If I stay at home (and we aren't even sure we can afford this option yet), will the kids get the stimulus they need? Ethan is so used to being on a set schedule and having all his friends to play with. I feel like I would be robbing him of an environment he loves so much and thrives in. I also don't think that I am cut out to be a SAHM (no judgments please!)...that's just how I feel. Joe works long hours, and I feel like I would resent him because I would always be with the kids, with no break even a night since he often doesn't get home until Ethan is in bed. The other thing to consider is that even though I am not satisfied with my job, it does pay well, has a great commute, and offers a great deal of flexibility. I am able to leave at a moment's notice if Ethan is sick, with no questions asked. If I give this job up to stay home, what happens in 5 years when I am ready to work again? I also carry the health insurance for the entire family, I contribute to savings and a 401K plan. I would have none of that if I stayed at home.

What to do, what to do? I am due in 20 weeks, and each time I even think about what to do about daycare, I feel sick to my stomach. It keeps me up at night. Joe and I have been avoiding the discussion for weeks now because in a perfect world, we would both kids in the center where Ethan is now and I would keep working. Why isn't the world perfect??? Any suggestions anyone??? I know a lot of you out there use home daycare...tell me how you found your provider and what your experience has been so far.

In other news, we took Ethan to Sesame Place and had a blast! I think meeting and hugging Elmo will be the highlight of his 2-year old life. I will post pics as soon as I can upload them. I am thinking about getting tickets to Sesame Street Live when the tour comes our way in September. I think he'd have so much fun. We are taking him to the DC Zoo next Friday...pray for some decent (and not unGodly hot) weather please!

I think I have rambled on enough for one post....If you got this far, thanks for reading!!!