Just Popping In

REAL quick update...

1. At November 13th's weigh-in, I was down 1.6 pounds. Last night, I was down .2 for a total of 18.2 pounds. Slowly but surely. I am a bit nervous about the holidays coming up, but I am trying to stay focused on how far I've come already.

2. J agreed that we could start TTC this month instead of waiting until February! I am almost done with AF, so we will give it a shot and hope for the best. I am still not sure what my cycles will be like off the pill since this was the first one and it was 27 days. Our plan is to dtd every other day from CD10 until CD20. We'll probably dtd every day on CD13, 14, and 15.

3. Ethan is just starting to get over a nasty cough and cold. He has been miserable, therefore making J and I miserable! Last night, I saw a glimpse of my happy little boy, and I'm hoping to see more of him tonight. He has learned a ton of new words in the past month or so including:

---Pretzel
---Cookie
---Book
---Outside
---I see you
---Not nice
---Nice
---Cookie
---firetruck
---tractor

These are on top of all the other words he knows. Many of them are only understood by Mommy, but they are words nonetheless! In only a few short months, I will be the mother of a 2-year old....AAGGHH!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Guilt and a Little Eye-Opening Too

I feel guilty, I admit it. Since I went off the pill, I have been wanting to have sex more often than we used to. This is because I absolutely want to get pregnant! Joe is on his way home from work, and he was yawning, so I asked him if he was too tired to have sex. He immediately said that I only wanted to have sex because I want another baby. He didn't say it in a mean way; he was simply matter-of-fact about it.

Here's the funny thing though; in the process of going off the BCP to prepare for TTC #2, I truly have discovered how much I miss regular sex with my husband and how much closer I feel to him. Now that I am making more of an effort to have sex, I am realizing that it IS worth the effort, babymaking as a goal or not. So many times, I am just too tired or had a stressful day. When I am able to put all that aside and focus on J and I, things just seem to go so much smoother.

I am so hoping to get pregnant this time without months and months of trying. I'd like to conceive without all the months of getting AF and being disappointed. I know that I am probably setting myself up already for a bit of disappointment, but how do I prevent that? I am so incredibly ready for another child...how do I convince Joe that waiting a few more months is just too hard for me?? Have any of you been through this before? It seems like most of you have DH's who really pushed for Baby #2...I'm jealous of that attitude! LOL

Oh, in non-babymaking news, I was down .4 at Monday's weigh-in for a total of 16.4 pounds. I am back on track this week and have not snacked at all. I am hoping to be down at least another pound at my next weigh-in.

Not Much to Say

I didn't update last Monday, because I really didn't have a whole lot to say. Still don't. I was down .8 at last week's weigh-in which brought my total loss to 16 pounds. I know that I am up a little bit this week...I can tell by my home scale. I snacked too much this week, but I am getting back on track for this week. Hopefully, I only have a small gain that I can easily lose!

I am about halfway through my first cycle off BCP. I am feeling pretty good off them. I am hoping that my cycle is pretty regular. I really want to get pregnant soon, because I would love a summer baby this time. I am trying (probably not very successfully) not to put any pressure on Joe. He already knows how much I want to have another child. I think he does too, but that he's probably afraid to actually come right out and admit it, if that makes any sense.

Thinking about Baby #2 has led me to think a lot about the sex of a future child. I would be lying if I said I didn't want a little girl. There is something special about a mother/daughter relationship. I do so much with my Mom, and I would love to share that with a daughter of my own. On the other hand, having a little boy is incredible also! And with two boys, they would be able to play together and they'd be interested in similar things. I know that I will get what God wants me to have, and I will be content with that as long as the baby is healthy. But I definitely can't stop a little part of me from hoping for a girl!

The other thing I've been torn about is finding out the sex of the next one. We both did not want to know with Ethan, and it was wonderful and so exciting when I was pushing. We knew in a matter of minutes (okay, it was HOURS), we would finally know if "Little Bean" was a boy or a girl. Next time, I think I would like to know. I think I'd like to be able to tell Ethan that he is going to have a baby brother or sister. I'm not sure how Joe feels about finding out. I think he'll go along with whatever I want to do. I know I don't have to decide this now, but it's something to think about!

Wow...this whole post was about TTC Baby #2...can you tell how ready I am??? LOL