Beautiful

What an amazing and touching song...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/2046

Crazy Lady

I have so many things I've been wanting to blog about, but I find that I'm just never in the mood.

This pregnancy has turned me into a CRAZY LADY (yes, I used capital letters!). I don't remember ever feeling this way when I was pregnant with Ethan. I am either very sad and emotional, or I feel bitchy and mean, and everything that anyone says rubs me entirely the wrong way.

One of the things that's been bothering me is that I just don't feel "special" this time around. I know it's silly and selfish of me to want to be treated specially just because I'm pregnant, but I do. This is my last time being pregnant, and I want to enjoy it. Instead, I find myself struggling to take care of Ethan in the evenings when I am exhausted, keep up with piles and piles of laundry, and basically take care of a billion other things. My Mom scolded me the other day for carrying a load of laundry down the stairs, but who else is going to do it for me?? Unfortunately, Joe has not been around much in the evenings to give me a hand with things like that or with Ethan.

Now, I have to go off on a bit of a tangent here and say how wonderful Joe is when he IS around. He is an extremely attentive and loving husband, and a great father. When he's home on weekends, he'll help me clean or he'll even send me and Ethan to do some errands so he can clean. He's always willing to run out to grab me a Dairy Queen Blizzard (something my hips, ass, and thighs don't need, but that's another story entirely!) or whatever my latest craving might be. It's just that lately he's not around much, leaving me to shoulder most of the work during the week. I don't necessarily resent him because I know he's working hard to support his family, but I am TIRED. Being pregnant with #2 (or more for that matter) is entirely different than #1. With #1, I could come home and put my feet up for however long I wanted to. There was no little voice asking me for juice every 2 seconds. The fatigue is much greater this time around, and I've been queasy every day since about 4 weeks.

I have no right to complain about ANYTHING! I have a fantastic husband, a wonderful little boy, and I'm expecting another baby. What is it about pregnancy that turns sweet (okay, maybe I'm normally a little less than 100% sweet) into crazy ladies?? When will it end??

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On another note, I had my first OB appointment last Tuesday with an ultrasound. The baby has now officially been nicknamed Elmo. Elmo has a heartbeat that was 166 bpm and was measuring 8 weeks. I go for my first trimester screen in 2 weeks, so I will have another ultrasound as well as some bloodwork. It's hard to believe that I am already 9weeks, 2 days pregnant. The time is flying by so quickly already. I know I should be thankful because towards the end, it's going to drag and drag.

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Our house is officially on the market. We've had 4 showings in less than a week, so we're hoping that's a good sign. We are planning on having an open house next weekend. The offer that we put in on another house was accepted and the closing date is scheduled for June 29th. Joe and I are both stressed because we went in non-contingent on the offer, meaning if we don't sell our house by June 29th, we'll be paying double mortgages until our house finally sells. So please cross your fingers that we sell our house quickly!

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Ethan is absolutely amazing. He is a very comical little boy, and what makes it even more funny is that he KNOWS he's funny. I think he has a future as a class clown, just like his Daddy. He is talking in complete sentences now, and we're trying to teach him colors and numbers. He insists that everything is yellow! I haven't really told him much about the new baby yet. I figured I would wait until my belly starts to get a lot bigger. I did tell him that Mommy is going to have a baby and right now it's in her belly. I mentioned once to him one of the names that Joe and I are tossing around if it's a girl, and now he calls the baby that all the time. Maybe he knows something we don't??

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I think it's time to end this post before the CRAZY LADY comes back!

News, news, and more news

I guess I'll start with the biggest news first. I'm pregnant! I tested on March 11, so I am
8 weeks, 1 day today. My first doctor's appointment is tomorrow afternoon, and I am hoping that we see the heartbeat. I've been much more queasy this time around than I was with Ethan, and much more tired since I can't just come home from work and crash. Based on my calculations, my due date is November 18, but that may change after tomorrow's ultrasound.

Joe and I have decided to keep the sex a surprise again this time around. It was so exciting not knowing the entire time and picking out a boy's name and a girl's name. When I ask Ethan if he wants a baby brother or a baby sister, he tells me "Baby Sister" every single time!

Big News #2: We are going to be putting our house on the market and looking for someplace bigger. We live in a 3-bedroom townhome, and although we have room for 2 children, we would like a yard where our kids can run and play, where I can put a sandbox and a swingset, where they can play ball and run around with our dogs. My neighborhood is also an older community, so we would like to find somewhere a bit "younger", with kids for Ethan to play with. Plus, we'd like to move out of the school district we are in. We've looked at many houses in our price range already, and we put an offer on one, but it was not accepted. The sellers had received another offer the same day, and that offer was not contingent on the sale of a house. So we'll keep looking; we know the perfect house is out there somewhere.

Big News #3: We celebrated our 10-year wedding anniversary in Atlantic City on March 1. We had a really nice time away, just the two of us. It's amazing to me that we have been married for 10 years and together for about 15.

Big News #4: Okay, this probably isn't big news, but I'M excited about it! We are getting new bedroom furniture tomorrow! After 10 years of living with crappy, cheap stuff, we are finally getting a new bedroom set!!! WOO HOO!!!

When I get a few minutes, I'll post some recent pics of Ethan. He's getting to be such a big boy now, and I just can't wait to see what a great big brother he's going to be.

Another Dream

I had another dream last night about G, my first love. In the dream, we had not seen each other for years and years. Somehow we ran into each other, and after catching up on our lives, G declared "I love you." I told him "I've always loved you." We hugged and kissed, and it felt like coming home to the warmest, coziest, safest place I could ever imagine.

In my dream, I was married to Joe. In my dream, I loved Joe. I didn't want to live without either G or Joe in my life, but I knew I had to choose between them. It was the worst feeling in the world, and I woke up before I decided what to do. Why do I keep dreaming of G?? I love Joe with all my heart, and he is the perfect match for me. I don't "feel" discontented with my life; as a matter of fact, I love my life. We're TTC another baby, we have a wonderful 2-year old, a nice house, 2 cars, etc., etc. What are these dreams trying to tell me? I actually woke up with a sense of loss because in my dream, I got to see G. I wanted to go back to sleep so that I could see him again.

I know that I am not in control of my dreams, but part of me feels guilty for the feelings that come out in them.

First Love

Lately, I seem to be dreaming quite frequently of my first love, G. I met G on the swim team in 8th grade and we soon became an item. We went to different schools, but somehow things always worked between us. We spent lots of time with each other's families and we had so much fun together. We dated until my sophomore year in high school, when my parents decided to move from Massachusetts to Florida. After a tearful goodbye and promising each other we'd write and visit, I was gone.

G did come to Florida a few months after I moved there, and we still found the old "magic." We hung out and kissed and caught up on each other's lives. When the visit came to an end, I was so lost and sad. I didn't know when I'd see him again. Our phone calls became less and less frequent and he told me that he was dating another girl on the high school swim team. My heart hurt when I heard that even though we had agreed that we were too young to maintain a long-distance relationship. Whenever my family traveled back to Massachusetts for a visit, G and I would see each other, but the relationship had changed and we were now just friends.

Eventually, the phone calls stopped and each of us went on with our own lives. That was 15 years ago. So often, I wonder what happened to G: is he married? does he have kids? is he happy? He was such a great guy, and I would just love to know how he is. I found an address for him a few years back and wrote him a note, but I didn't get a response. I wonder if he got the letter and had no interest in communicating with me, or if he just didn't get the letter at all. I have been unable to find an e-mail address for him. A long time ago, I tried sending his parents a letter telling them that I wanted to get in touch with G but didn't know how, and I didn't get a response from them either.

I am completely happy with my life and choosing to marry J. My wanting to contact G is only because I cared so much about him and would love to know how he is doing. He was a great boyfriend, but also a great friend. Maybe someday I'll find out the answers.

Birthday Party

Now That You're Two

Dear Ethan,

Now that you're two, I can't imagine my world without you at the center. I watch you play, and I can't believe that someone as ordinary as me could create something so extraordinarly amazing as you are.

Now that you're two, you are finding your independence. Your personality is beginning to really shine, and I think you got a double dose of stubbornness from both of your parents!

Now that you're two, you LOVE cars, truck, buses, and trains. Gramma bought you a firetruck, and you carry it everywhere we go. You also adore Elmo and you even had an Elmo theme for your birthday party at Pizza Hut.

Now that you're two, you are talking like crazy and certainly vocalizing what you do and do not like. Now when I try to wipe your face, you say "I don't like that Momma...it's cold." I can't even count all the words you know and say now.

Now that you're two, you still sleep with your "aba" (your blankie), and you still suck your thumb when you're sleepy. You are still in your crib, but Daddy and I plan on moving you into a big-boy bed very soon.

Now that you're two, you've become a bit scared of the dark. You'll bring me to the window and tell me it's "dark outside", while clinging to my hand.

Now that you're two, you have decided that you're just too busy for mealtimes. Your favorite foods are hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, Combos (just like Daddy!), and Cheetos. You don't seem to like sweets (you definitely don't take after me with that one) too much though. For breakfast, you like french toast and waffles, and sometimes you'll eat cereal and bananas with mommy.

Now that you're two, you play with Snoopy and Pepper, and you pet them nicely. You hate it when Snoopy climbs in my lap and you tell him to "Get down Snuppy."

Now that you're two, you absolutely adore your Gramma and Grampa, and you are so lucky that they live right down the street. Gramma comes over all the time to play with you and give you lots of hugs and kisses. Grampa likes to tease you (as ALL Grampas like to do), and you love every second.

Now that you're two, you love to wrestle with Daddy and for Daddy to tickle you.

Now that you're two, you are in the 2-year old room at daycare. You love to play with Ms. Maria and Ms. Terri and all of your friends. Your classroom has a fish named Nemo that you love to show me when I pick you up each day.

Now that you're two, we'll soon be working on potty-training you. It ought to be interesting considering your stubborn nature!

Now that you're two, I'm a little bit sad that you're growing up so quickly. I don't know where the time has gone; it seems that in a blink of an eye, my baby has turned into a little boy. I am so proud of you Ethan, and I am so excited to experience all that the next year will bring. You will never truly know the depth of my love for you until you have a child of your own one day. You turn frowns into smiles, rain into sunshine, and tears into laughter.

Thank you so much for all you have given me little man. I love you.

Mommy

OMG, Has It Really Been a Month??

I cannot believe that I haven't updated this blog in an entire month! I'm not even sure where to begin.

****I am in my third cycle of really TTC and my fourth cycle off BCP. I am not sure what kind of a chance we have this month, considering that Joe and I both came down with a nasty stomach virus right around O time (not the most romantic situation for baby-making!). We tried as much as we could, but I'm sure we missed some pretty crucial days.

****Ethan is doing GREAT! He is starting to string words together and he's saying things like "Where'd Daddy go?" or "Here you go Mommy" or "I sorry." It is amazing that my baby has turned into a little boy. I am busy planning his birthday party, which is less than 3 weeks away now. Of course, the theme for his party is Elmo...he is totally addicted to Elmo. He is also into trucks, cars, and trains; he's all boy! He has moved into the 2-year old room at daycare and has quickly developed the attitude and temper of a 2-year old!

****I am still trying to lose the weight I gained over the holidays. Because the Jenny Craig plan was becoming extremely expensive and tough on our budget, I am going to try to go it alone for awhile. I know what I need to do...it's actually DOING it that's the problem. I sure wish I didn't love to eat so much!

There's a couple things I want to come back and blog about in the near future...hopefully, it won't take me another month to get back here!

Update

I am still not sure what's up with my current cycle. I never got a + on the OPK. I stopped testing on Saturday (CD14). Joe and I dtd on CD7, 9, 10, 11, 13, and 14. We haven't dtd since, so if I have a short luteal phase, then we probably missed it this month. I am on CD18 today. I am not at all hopeful that we caught the egg. I feel like I don't really "know" when I'm O'ing. I thought the OPKs would help, but they only confused me more! Maybe temping isn't a bad idea?

I have gained back about 4 pounds of what I lost on Jenny Craig. Gotta love the holidays and my sheer lack of willpower! I am trying to get back on track, but it might not happen until after New Year's.

Ethan is sick again with a nasty cold that my brother's family brought with them from Massachusetts. Hopefully he gets over it quickly. He had a blast on Christmas though, and he kept saying "Wow" when he would open a gift and see what it was. He got a Geo Trax train set that he loves, a bunch of cars and trucks, and a suitcase for traveling with his name on it. Santa was good to him, that's for sure!

Not much else to report...I'm so discouraged about TTC. I know it will happen, but I feel like I am on a time schedule since I am 31 and will be 32 when the next baby is finally born, if I conceive pretty soon. I'm so impatient and I hate waiting once I set my mind to something.

Need Help in my TTC Journey!

I promise to update my blog soon, but first I need some help...Sabrina, this means you since you have so much TTC knowledge!! LOL

I am on my second cycle off BCP. My first cycle was 27 days, the second was 25 days. This cycle I decided to start using OPKs on CD9. I have been doing 2 OPKs per day: one around 1 p.m. and one in the evening between 7 and 10 p.m. I am on CD12 and I have not gotten a positive OPK yet. Does that seem right? Joe and I have bd'ed on CD7, 9, 10, and 11 so far. Should I keep using the OPKs and keep bd'ing every night until a few days after I finally do get a positive OPK? I need guidance!! I feel like a total newbie at the whole TTC process!

If I have another 25-day cycle, I would O around CD11 (yesterday), but I didn't get a positive OPK. If I have a 27-day cycle, I would O around CD 13, which is tomorrow, but I didn't get a positive OPK at all today. HMMM? What the heck? Insight anyone???

Feeling Blue

I'm blue and out of sorts the past few days. At last week's weigh-in, I was up 4.2 pounds! UGGH! I know I slipped big time during the long Thanksgiving weekend, but I didn't realize I had messed up THAT badly! It's been a rough week trying to get back on track, so I am not sure what tonight's weigh-in will bring. Hopefull, I am down at least a few pounds.

This was my first cycle TTC #2. My first cycle off the BCP was 27 days, so this cycle, we dtd on CD10, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 15. I have NO idea if (when) I ovulated. On Thursday night (CD15), I had a lot of twinges in my right side and some achy lower back pain, so I am not sure if that was when I ovulated. I HATE playing the guessing game. I didn't use any OPKs this cycle because it was only our first one. I plan on using them next cycle to try to pinpoint when I actually ovulate. I am not feeling at all hopeful about being pregnant this cycle. I foolishly had my hopes up because I wanted a Christmas BFP. I had dreams about telling my family on Christmas Day. I have ZERO symptoms right now. Not sure how long it would take to feel symptoms if I just ovulated on Thursday?

Now I remember how much I hate the whole TTC process...the way it screws with your mind and messes with your emotions. I hate the constant analyzing and obsessing over every little thing in the 2ww. I hate how you start each cycle with such a feeling of hope and then you end it with disappointment. I got pregnant with Ethan relatively quickly (6 months), and even those 6 months were a roller coaster. I wanted the second time around to be easy and more relaxed but I can see that it's not going to happen quite that way.

I am having an ugly Monday...I am tired, sad, and my face is broken out beyond belief. No amount of concealer could help me today! I am dreading weigh-in tonight and the number I will see on the scale. I am sad because my baby is almost 2.

Geesh, if you got this far, I commend you...what a depressing, pity party post! I'll be back when things start looking up!

Just Popping In

REAL quick update...

1. At November 13th's weigh-in, I was down 1.6 pounds. Last night, I was down .2 for a total of 18.2 pounds. Slowly but surely. I am a bit nervous about the holidays coming up, but I am trying to stay focused on how far I've come already.

2. J agreed that we could start TTC this month instead of waiting until February! I am almost done with AF, so we will give it a shot and hope for the best. I am still not sure what my cycles will be like off the pill since this was the first one and it was 27 days. Our plan is to dtd every other day from CD10 until CD20. We'll probably dtd every day on CD13, 14, and 15.

3. Ethan is just starting to get over a nasty cough and cold. He has been miserable, therefore making J and I miserable! Last night, I saw a glimpse of my happy little boy, and I'm hoping to see more of him tonight. He has learned a ton of new words in the past month or so including:

---Pretzel
---Cookie
---Book
---Outside
---I see you
---Not nice
---Nice
---Cookie
---firetruck
---tractor

These are on top of all the other words he knows. Many of them are only understood by Mommy, but they are words nonetheless! In only a few short months, I will be the mother of a 2-year old....AAGGHH!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Guilt and a Little Eye-Opening Too

I feel guilty, I admit it. Since I went off the pill, I have been wanting to have sex more often than we used to. This is because I absolutely want to get pregnant! Joe is on his way home from work, and he was yawning, so I asked him if he was too tired to have sex. He immediately said that I only wanted to have sex because I want another baby. He didn't say it in a mean way; he was simply matter-of-fact about it.

Here's the funny thing though; in the process of going off the BCP to prepare for TTC #2, I truly have discovered how much I miss regular sex with my husband and how much closer I feel to him. Now that I am making more of an effort to have sex, I am realizing that it IS worth the effort, babymaking as a goal or not. So many times, I am just too tired or had a stressful day. When I am able to put all that aside and focus on J and I, things just seem to go so much smoother.

I am so hoping to get pregnant this time without months and months of trying. I'd like to conceive without all the months of getting AF and being disappointed. I know that I am probably setting myself up already for a bit of disappointment, but how do I prevent that? I am so incredibly ready for another child...how do I convince Joe that waiting a few more months is just too hard for me?? Have any of you been through this before? It seems like most of you have DH's who really pushed for Baby #2...I'm jealous of that attitude! LOL

Oh, in non-babymaking news, I was down .4 at Monday's weigh-in for a total of 16.4 pounds. I am back on track this week and have not snacked at all. I am hoping to be down at least another pound at my next weigh-in.

Not Much to Say

I didn't update last Monday, because I really didn't have a whole lot to say. Still don't. I was down .8 at last week's weigh-in which brought my total loss to 16 pounds. I know that I am up a little bit this week...I can tell by my home scale. I snacked too much this week, but I am getting back on track for this week. Hopefully, I only have a small gain that I can easily lose!

I am about halfway through my first cycle off BCP. I am feeling pretty good off them. I am hoping that my cycle is pretty regular. I really want to get pregnant soon, because I would love a summer baby this time. I am trying (probably not very successfully) not to put any pressure on Joe. He already knows how much I want to have another child. I think he does too, but that he's probably afraid to actually come right out and admit it, if that makes any sense.

Thinking about Baby #2 has led me to think a lot about the sex of a future child. I would be lying if I said I didn't want a little girl. There is something special about a mother/daughter relationship. I do so much with my Mom, and I would love to share that with a daughter of my own. On the other hand, having a little boy is incredible also! And with two boys, they would be able to play together and they'd be interested in similar things. I know that I will get what God wants me to have, and I will be content with that as long as the baby is healthy. But I definitely can't stop a little part of me from hoping for a girl!

The other thing I've been torn about is finding out the sex of the next one. We both did not want to know with Ethan, and it was wonderful and so exciting when I was pushing. We knew in a matter of minutes (okay, it was HOURS), we would finally know if "Little Bean" was a boy or a girl. Next time, I think I would like to know. I think I'd like to be able to tell Ethan that he is going to have a baby brother or sister. I'm not sure how Joe feels about finding out. I think he'll go along with whatever I want to do. I know I don't have to decide this now, but it's something to think about!

Wow...this whole post was about TTC Baby #2...can you tell how ready I am??? LOL

Moving Right Along

Last night was weigh-in, and I was down another 1.8 pounds. That brings my total loss to 15.2 pounds in 9 weeks. I am feeling so much better both mentally and physically, and I know that losing the weight will make my next pregnancy easier on my body. I feel so much more confident and full of energy that I just didn't have before. Shopping is enjoyable again, and now there are more things in my closet that are too big rather than too tight.

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Joe and I are still attending weekly counseling sessions, and they seem to be helping tremendously with the way we are communicating with one another. We are going to continue with counseling until the end of the year, and then re-evaluate with our counselor where we are and if we need to continue further.

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Ethan is doing GREAT! He has had some cranky days recently because all 4 molars are breaking through at once. He is becoming a little comedian. On Saturday, my parents, Joe, Ethan, and I were all eating lunch at a restaurant. I told Ethan "You haven't even touched your sandwich". He looked up at me and then reached out and touched the top of his sandwich with the tip of his index finger! Little smartass! We all just started laughing so hard.

He is learning more and more words all the time. He still hasn't combined words into any kind of sentence, but he now repeats so much of what he hears. I took him to a craft show over the weekend and as we were walking around, he was saying "Beep Beep" to anyone who got in his way. I find it hard to believe that in just a few months, he will be 2. He is my ray of sunshine on even the darkest days, and I just love him to death.

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I am so anxious to TTC again. Lately, I seem to be thinking about it all the time. As much as I want another child, I am so afraid that I won't have enough love or attention for 2 children. Could I love another child as much as I love Ethan? I know these worries are normal, but they are still niggling in the back of my mind.

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Feeling Blue

I am feeling so down this week, mostly due to PMS. My Mom forwarded me an e-mail from her friend, G. I was best friends with G's daughter in high school and part of college. We lost touch, but my parents have remained friendly with her parents. Anyway, she had a little boy in August of 2004, and the e-mail said that she was pregnant again. I should be happy, right? WRONG! Instead, I am so jealous! A year ago, I would have been completely thrilled that it wasn't ME that was pregnant, and now I am WISHING it was me.

I know that it (hopefully) won't be long before I am pregnant again. I am done with the pills and waiting for AF. I know I won't be able to talk Joe into TTC seriously before February, but maybe we'll get lucky and it will just "happen". I doubt it, but you never know. My sex drive is usually much higher when I'm not on the pill, so our sex life should change a bit from how it's been lately.

This month's PMS has been so tough. I've had bad headaches and terrible mood swings. YUCK! It will be interesting to see how long it takes for my cycles to regulate. I was pretty regular coming off the pill when we were TTC Ethan, so I am hoping for the best.

I'll be back when I have some more positive things to share!

Super Quick Update

• Lost .8 this week. A bit disappointed, but a loss is still a loss. Total loss is now 13.4 pounds.
• Ethan is better. I don't think he had Hand, Foot, and Mouth since he never got any blisters.
• Joe was in a car accident on Friday morning in our Saturn...$2,000 worth of damage. The car is going in to be fixed on the 23rd. Joe, thank God, was not hurt.
• No more BCP for me! I am due to get AF sometime this week, and then I will begin monitoring my cycles in the hopes of getting pregnant soon. I hope it just "happens" between now and February (when we decided to really TTC).
• I am participating in a memorial walk this Saturday for Lacie, my co-worker's daughter who passed away from Tay-Sachs disease at just 18 months. It will be 1 year on October 23rd since she became an angel. You can read her story at www.geocities.com/ourprincesslacie.
• Gotta run!

Good News and Bad News, Part II

First the bad news...Daycare called and Ethan was running a fever of 102.3. Three children in his classroom have been confirmed to have Hand, Foot, and Mouth. He can't go back to daycare until he is fever-free for 24 hours so that would be tomorrow at noon at the very earliest. I work on a government contract, which just changed hands on October 1, meaning I have no paid time off for the first 3 months (until I accrue it). I will either have to find a way to make up my time or take leave without pay. Ethan is sleeping right now after a dose of Motrin.

The good news...I passed the kidney stone (at least part of it!!). I haven't been straining my urine because I'm all out of strainers. Who knew I'd be straining urine for 6 freakin' weeks??? When I got home with Ethan, I went to the bathroom. Awhile later, I went again, and there was a little hard stone caught down there. Not sure if it's all of it or a part of it. I already am feeling less pain and pressure down there, so I'm hoping that was all of it!!!!!!!!

Good News and Bad News

Okay, the bad news first...I am so horribly miserable from this kidney stone!!! I feel like I have to pee ALL the time, and I am getting twinges of pain off and on most of the day. My urologist appointment is tomorrow morning, and I am PRAYING that she doesn't tell me that we should still "wait it out". The damn thing has been causing me problems for 6 weeks now...I highly doubt it's going to come out all of a sudden.

On to the good news...at last night's weigh-in, I was down 3 pounds! That means I am down another 2.5 pounds after figuring in last week's 1/2-pound gain. My total loss for the last 7 weeks is 12.6 pounds!! YAY ME!!!!!!!!

More good news: On Sunday night, Joe said that he agrees that getting rid of my BCP is a good idea. I have 5 more pills in this pack and then I will stop. We agreed that for the next several months, we will not be actively TTC but we will not be preventing. If I get pregnant, I get pregnant. If not, we will TTC more aggressively once Ethan turns 2. I am happy that he brought the subject up without any prodding from me. I am happy that he truly gave it some thought and made the decision without pressure on my part. And, of course, I am happy that we will be TTC soon! I hope I can continue to lose some weight during our "not trying, but not preventing" months!

Bummed Out

So at my weigh-in last night, I discovered I had gained 1/2 pound. If I knew why, I probably wouldn't be upset but I just can't figure it out. I know it's only 1/2 pound, but it feels like a setback. I know I need to just move on and continue following the plan, but man, do I feel depressed about it!!!

My kidney stone is STILL there...I'm beginning to think it's settling in for the winter! LOL I'm having pain off and on, some days worse than others.

That's all the update I have time for right now!!